dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
