My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
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he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
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anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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