if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
