Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
