You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
