So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
