I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
