You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize
