i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
