Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
