i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
