It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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