How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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