Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
