can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
