Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
