so explain again why im purple
no
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
