So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
