Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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