we're chasing vodka with high fives
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
