It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
