once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
