it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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