dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
