i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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