Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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