I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
