My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
