It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Everything about him screamed your future.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
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He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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