Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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