There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
