Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
