I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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