Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
