Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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