I think I am morally bankrupt
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
