I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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