So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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