Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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