Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You smell like a Billy Joel song
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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