I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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