you traded sex for a burrito?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
