don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
