I hate all girls vehemently.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
