Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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