Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
