Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
