Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
