Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
