If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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