thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
