I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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