I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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