he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
