i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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