he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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