There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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