it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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