turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize
