i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
