did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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