Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You are a genius and a whore.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
