I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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